Aikaan almost ran towards her cell phone. It was
the third time that her phone was ringing. She answered “hello!” ( She was disturbed)
Aikaan ..
She dropped the call at once. It was Adam. She had tears in her eyes… how dare he called me? He has no self-respect. Why is he calling me now? What does he need now? Our love story ended ages ago. What does he need now!! Why did he call? And Aikaan had this tornado of thoughts again which occupied her mind completely.
She was very disturbed she didn’t even want to talk to anyone. Not even Faaris. Their wedding date was decided two days back at dinner. She had two months for her preparation of marriage with the person who loved her wholeheartedly and she knew he didn’t have any second thoughts and he never could have any second thoughts. She was very disturbed. It was 6 pm and she was making tea in the kitchen for everyone which was already spilled now and the stove was all messy.
She hardly made the tea again with her thoughts elsewhere and thought to call aunt Tasbeel. She called her number thrice but her aunt didn’t answer. She wanted to tell her and ask why did he call her now when he had destroyed everything, She must be busy.. she thought to herself and went upstairs to her room with her tea to talk to her diary. Faaris was calling but she didn’t want to answer. She didn’t know what to say to him and what to talk about right now as she was very disturbed.
Dear Diary,
Why is it so that whenever we are incomplete, we’re always searching for some human being, a partner to complete us. Maybe it’s like this that all of us humans are crazy, we keep running after the things we can’t get and people we can’t have. Sometimes I feel like I’ve to start my relationship all over again. Why do these things happen, why these people who we can’t live without leave us in the first place people?
They leave us, or they never loved us, or they can’t get us, or sometimes we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and then the disappointment takes us over and the vessel starts to crack in places. Once the vessel we are riding at cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside our houses, the damage to our things is inevitable. Even though now I want to move forward in my life, I’m having my one for on the brakes. What is happening now? Why everything I once wanted is coming to me now when I don’t even want it. Why is he calls ng me now, why did he call me, why old life called me back. It took me a long time to let it go and be free. I released the hurt finally after a long time, the fear. What is it now?
Aikaan closed her diary and put it aside and went to sleep. She always went to bed when she was really stressed. She was disturbed this time too and writing dairy helped her a lot.
Faris’s nanny and sister were preparing for his marriage ceremony as just one and the half month was left in their wedding ceremony. Faaris was getting ready as he had to go to the office. He had this newly established business of hoardings and Billboards. He wanted to progress more and earn more so that he could have a smooth and beautiful family circle. He texted aikaan “Going office. Will pick you up for lunch.” Aikaan replied “okay.”
Faaris usually had his lunch with Aikaan almost every day. Aikaan never took admission to the university. She had already given the admission test but she never took admission. She was finally feeling relaxed in her life and had started to feel that new start except for this that Adam used to call her many times and she always rejected his number. He used to call her from new numbers just so she may answer. Aikaan was worried but she didn’t want to trouble Faaris with this thing.
We need to talk now. Adam stopped Aikaan at the grocery store and she ignored but he was really insistent. He forced her to listen to him as she didn’t want to create any scene she sat in the sitting area and asked him to speak.
“Sometimes people fall apart Aikaan, and then they realize how much they need to be back together.”
Aikaan: I’m getting married in a month with the person who won’t betray me like you did.
Adam: What if I tell you that I never betrayed you.
Aikaan: I don’t want to hear anything. Please take your love story elsewhere. I’m not interested in listening to anything.
Adam: it wasn’t a love story. She was my cousin. She was diagnosed with cancer and she had just one year to live. On our wedding day, she came running to me and confessed that she loves me for a long time and she wants to marry me and she just had a year to live. I wanted her to live.
Aikaan: you could have told me if there was anything like this still you chose to betray me. And you didn’t tell me this all ever why?
Adam: i still did you wrong so I never had the courage to confront you.
Aikaan: now?
Adam: i don’t want to loose you.
Aikaan: you already lost me.
Aikaan stood up and went outside, she was almost running with tears in her eyes.
She wanted to tell faaris everything but she was afraid. She didn’t know what to do who to go to and talk to. This time she called aunt tasbeel again. She answered. Aikaan started crying and told her everything.
“Be at peace sweetheart I’m going to visit you in the morning and we will discuss everything. I will tell you what you must do.”
“Sweetheart you deserve someone better, you deserve to be loved passionately and with all the heart someone can give you and that’s Faaris, my love. Don’t confuse who loves you more. Just think with your heart and mind who you can live without. That’s something only you are capable of doing.” Aunt tasbeel said holding Aikaan’s hand in her hand and sipping hot coffee. Not all love stories have a happy ending.. Aikaan thought in her head and nodded sadly.